Even though women are the ones who “get pregnant,” men go through this experience right along with them! Infertility and fertility treatments are stressful for men, too.
- You don’t know who you are
- Most men want to be fathers at some point in their lives. So, for some men fertility problems may make them feel like less of a man.
- You are helpless
- Since men often like to solve problems, the inability to “fix” this may leave you feeling frustrated or not in control.
- You are “outside the loop”
- Even though fertility issues affect both partners, you may feel left out of the treatment process since most fertility treatments and tests involve the woman’s body.
“During the whole process I found that I was quite passive … so it is quite frustrating, I have to say, to want a child and to be quite passive in this role of becoming a father.” (Fertility patient, 31)
- You are embarrassed or ashamed
- You may be embarrassed that your “equipment” is not working as you expected.
- This can be intensified by stereotypes that fertility is a sign of a strong sex drive or your role as a husband or partner.
- You don’t know “how” or “when” or “who” to talk to about all that’s going on at home
- Many men do not really talk openly about “trying to have a baby” or infertility.
- It's one thing to bring up the latest sports game amongst your buddies, but how do you even go about bringing up your pregnancy struggles with friends?
- You should “tough it out” or “be strong for them”
- Men sometimes think that their partner’s concerns should take priority, and so they keep their own worries to themselves.
Click here to learn about what you can do when you are feeling stressed.
Check out this excellent resource for stress tips for men.
